good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
