I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
