wrigley field is MILF paradise
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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