You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
