am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Randomize
