I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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