you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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