Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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