I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
