Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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