I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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