just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize