So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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