can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Randomize
