I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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