you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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