My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
