Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I want to have your abortion
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
