I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
