Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Someone came in the potted fern
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
