nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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