I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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