I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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