Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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