Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
