I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
