it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
