How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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