Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
