I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
