we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
