I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We were destined to go to rehab together
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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