I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
