I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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