And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize