Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
