Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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