Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
