dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
