never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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