I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
