Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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