This girl is more easily done than said...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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