Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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