I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
