Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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