Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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