I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
