I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
