dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
