Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
