We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
