I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
