...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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