Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
