I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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