They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
