Did you just see the Batmobile???
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Dicks are not precious.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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