My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
