So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
