Kareoke will never be a sober sport
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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