the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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