there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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