ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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