Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize