I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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