What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I don't deserve a penis
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
