The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize