she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
