Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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