4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
