nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
