His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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