then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize